Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
