I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
