I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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