Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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