maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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