yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
