Is it because I queefed?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
