i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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