If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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