you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He has the fingertips of a God
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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