The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
