Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
There are leaves in my underwear?
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