Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
