i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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