I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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