He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
a search helicopter?!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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