Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
