She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
