Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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