Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
