I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
