I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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