I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
