John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
