My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
