Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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