I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
