turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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