Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
should my penis look like a turkey
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bring me that man meat
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