My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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