Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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