are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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