Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
