He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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