Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
