the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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