I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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