butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
