this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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