How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
