honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
