Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
