I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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