I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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