just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
