Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize