planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
