my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
