i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
