No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
