how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
