I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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