That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
