Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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