i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
bring money and cleavage
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
