Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
