I met the friendliest cop last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
