whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
