absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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