Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
